Friendship has always been a specifically defined role in my life from the time I was quite young. I’m the girl who always had a best friend and we behaved like twins. If you invited one of us somewhere, it was an unspoken assumption that other would have to be invited as well… we were a package deal. We were extremely loyal, shared everything, and practically knew each other better than we each knew ourselves. There would still be group of friends we were a part of, but nothing came close to the bond we shared.
As an adult, it’s quite difficult to build a friendship so tight, especially when you have a family. Family always comes first, and that type of friendship requires spending a huge amount of time together. Rather than seeking an intense immediate bond that fulfills all of my desires for connection, I need to be open to developing friendships more slowly and to creating a circle of friends in which each person brings a unique benefit to the relationship.
Five months ago we moved to a new state where I know not a single person. Both leaving my job and witnessing friends relocate to far off lands, have made me acutely aware that the majority of my happiness is derived from time spent with friends. Suffice to say that my happiness level is at an all time low with my current friendship counter at zero.
Good news… there is sunshine, or happiness, on the horizon! I put in the effort to start two possible friendships today.
At the beginning of December, I participated in my first craft fair, and noticed P‘s amazing jewelry booth. During the fist day, P came over to say hi and we totally clicked. We traded info while packing up, but the holiday craziness got in the way. I emailed her this morning about getting together. This afternoon she wrote back that she had been planning to contact me today and that we should schedule something for next week. I’m so excited, she has an infectious smile, and I would love to have a friend who shares my love for crafts and sewing!
I also spontaneously decided to invite my son’s friend from preschool and his mom over for a play-date tomorrow. We seem to have the same sarcastic sense of humor, and I really enjoy talking to her when we’re picking up our kids. I’m looking forward to a conversation with her that’s more than five minutes long.
I feel hopeful that these connections will bring me happiness!